CINDERELLA no more. :(

Just a few days from now, I'm turning 21. I've finished my education already and is now seeking for a job. For the meantime, I am resting at home, trying to enjoy every litte bit of being a teen, which, practically speaking, I have missed during the days when I was still studying. :( Ever since I was in highschool, I've been wanting to go out a lot, with friends and classmates. But obviously, I can't. It was very rare that I can go to hangout with my friends. I have to go through the very hard process of asking permission from my parents before I can go out. That's why I rarely ask. Even if I wanted to join my friends, I'd opt not to ask permission anymore, so as to avoid the long talks, and process. At that time, I still understood why. Maybe I was still to young back then to go to bars and the like. That's why I decided to bear with my life like this, until I finish my edication.

But now, I am done with everything already. I can't help but ask myself, WHAT NOW? I am all grown up, I know I can handle myself now, is there still a need for locking me up at home? I mean, not literally locking up, but more like being locked up. I should be making my own decisions now, whether I want to work already or not, and where, to go anywhere I want anytime of the day, to do what I want and to do it my way. I really don't understand.

Nothing's wrong with being protective, right? But TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS NEVER GOOD. They always have corresponding consequences. Being overprotective hinders not only my growth but also my sister's growth. I pity her because she can't live her life the way she wants to, just like me. I don't want her to go through the same shit that I've been through and still experiencing up to this moment. Its good to have been brought up properly, but it does not follow that they should tell you what you should do, just like a BOSS tells his EMPLOYEE.

There's no problem with my father, he understands when I rant to him about these stuff. He wants to let me out, make me discover what there is is the real world. He wants us to grow. All he wants is for us to be safe and happy.

But on the other hand, I don't know. I want to understand but I can't. Even everybody else around us can't see the point of keeping us locked up here. I can't even see money as the reason. There are a lot of ways to enjoy without having to spend money too much. Maybe this is also a reason why I only have a few friends around our neighborhood, because I rarely go out, because I wasn't allowed to.

She's supposed to be our bestfriend, but what happened? I can go out, yeah, but just like CINDERELLA, I have to rush home so that I'll be able to make it before the deadline. I'M SO SICK OF IT. I'M OLD ENOUGH. I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

I wanna be CINDERELLA NO MORE. I WANT FREEDOM. I WANT TO BE HAPPY. :(( LET ME GO.